Most new parents understand the need to protect electrical outlets with childproof covers, but many don’t appreciate that baby-proofing your relationship is equally essential. Missteps often encountered by new parents can be avoided with open communication and flexibility.
If your partner becomes disinterested in sexual relations due to lack of sleep due to parenthood, this is completely natural and should pass in time.
Make Time for Each Other
Parenting can be both amazing and difficult in equal measures. Newborns and infants require our full focus, and it may be tempting to let your relationship slip by as you devote all your attention to caring for a new-born or infant. But there is hope: nurturing relationships remains possible even after adding a child into the picture!
Before planning an anniversary or birthday celebration weekend getaway, try prioritizing Date Night: Set aside some alone time on your calendars just for two. Plan something you both enjoy – such as cooking, taking leisurely walks around your neighborhood, going out for fancy dinner or movie, etc. Or consider planning something even bigger like planning a romantic weekend getaway to commemorate it all!
Stop micromanaging. If you find yourself making decisions for your partner such as what clothes or activities to do during certain situations, that could be a telltale sign that codependency has crept into your relationship, LGBT-affirming therapist Katie Leikam cautions Bustle. Offering advice may help, but you shouldn’t always be making decisions for them.
Limit Screen Time. Studies have revealed the negative repercussions of phubbing, so make an effort to spend quality time without phones and TVs as distractions. Set aside one hour each evening for sharing thoughts about your day; establish daily rituals like going to sleep at the same time each night, or creating an interactive dinner table free from screens in order to promote more conversation between each of you.
Quality time can be both priceless and costly; be wise in how you spend it. Instead of fighting over who will care for the baby at night, try splitting the shift equitably (you take half and he the other). Not only will your wallets benefit, but both parties will feel refreshed by day’s end!
Do Things You Both Enjoy
Many couples are thrilled at the prospect of parenthood. They eagerly plan their nursery, purchase supplies for baby and tend to their home; yet often overlook one aspect: relationship. Parenthood requires all your attention and energy!
Parenting can strain even the strongest of relationships. With proper preparation and commitment from both sides, however, you can ensure your relationship remains strong enough to withstand this new parenting adventure.
The key is finding activities that make both of you happy. Couples should find ways to reconnect outside their new normal and this can have long-term positive ramifications for mental health as well as the integrity of a marriage.
One way of doing this is to find a couple’s hobby. There are plenty of possibilities out there ranging from arts and crafts to outdoor activities; pottery classes together or painting could be good options, while woodworking or working out might also prove worthwhile.
Cooking together is an enjoyable way to relax and spend quality time together, and is also an invaluable opportunity to gain more insight into one another’s personalities. Try new recipes or simply prepare something you both enjoy eating together.
Other hobbies to consider as couples include photography, gardening and hiking. There are also plenty of active ways you can stay active as a couple like kayaking or working out together; you could even try doing puzzles such as sudoku or crosswords together!
Remember it is okay for your partner to make mistakes. Perhaps they forgot their changing pad at home or don’t understand how to sanitize pump parts properly – instead of jumping to conclusions and assigning blame, take the time needed for them to figure it out themselves.
Small acts of kindness go a long way in showing our partners we still love them and will always do. Take the extra time to send a text (or, if feeling bolder, send out a sext) or get something nice for them; these small gestures serve as reminders that we still care for one another and promise never to abandon them.
Take Care of Yourself
New dads may feel as if their roles in the “mom and baby show” have changed dramatically; he may even wonder if he has been replaced by another “little man.” While it is essential that partners feel included and valued, it’s also crucial that both partners take steps to take care of themselves without falling into patterns of love-bombing or codependency.
Reevaluating priorities, identifying new roles and responsibilities within the relationship, and learning effective communication will all be necessary in order to stay together as parents. Parents need to work as one team when it comes to parenting; taking over for your partner just because you feel they’re doing a poor job may have long-term repercussions; instead be patient while they develop their own techniques over time.
If your partner is struggling to cope with life after having a newborn, seeking professional help might be beneficial in managing stressors more effectively. Speaking openly with an outsider will allow for the opportunity to explore feelings more freely while creating new communication patterns – not to mention keeping lines of communication open!
New parents often forget to baby-proof their relationship once their newborn arrives, leaving it exposed and vulnerable. Going on dates, improving communication and accepting changes due to having a newborn are all ways that couples can strengthen and sustain their marriage when faced with such major life changes as becoming parents. Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O’Neill and Julia Stone’s book “Baby Proof Your Marriage: How to Laugh More, Argue Less and Communicate Better as Your Family Grows” offers couples an action plan designed to withstand such potential obstacles while facing off this biggest test of parenthood – it presents couples an action plan that will help ensure they stand up under it all when faced with parenthood as it presents one of life’s biggest tests when becoming parents themselves!
Say Thank You
An essential part of maintaining any relationship is showing our appreciation. Saying thank you can be easy to take for granted, so let your partner know how much their efforts mean to both of you – for instance if they help with housework or are being helpful in other ways; don’t take their efforts for granted without acknowledging them through conversations, text messages or even writing handwritten letters!
Complement your partner and listen when they share something about themselves – this shows your care and interest in hearing more of their ideas and emotions.
Make an effort to relax and have some fun together without taking life too seriously. Laughter can bring people closer and help break down barriers so you can connect more authentically. This is particularly helpful when discussing serious matters such as where or what kind of faith your spouse and you will practice together – discuss these matters now so your minds won’t be clouded with stress when the baby arrives!
Nurturing your relationship will bring benefits to both you and your baby; research shows that couples with happy marriages tend to produce children who are happier themselves! But like anything, nurturing your relationship takes work – making time for each other, showing appreciation, setting aside personal space, constructively managing conflict and forgiving each other are all ways you can ensure it remains strong long after baby arrives.
If communication in your relationship is an issue, a therapist can be invaluable. Rachel Stein, LICSW offers an intensive 4 1/2-hour workshop designed to teach new parents how to mend and navigate this complex transition together based on years of research as well as various counseling modalities such as Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. For more information contact her.https://www.youtube.com/embed/UfFsYNEbkLg